‘San Andreas’: Nine essential questions

Based on NPR film critic Chris Klimek's review of the mega-disaster movie "San Andreas," which opens all over the known universe in various formats and pretty much on demand, here are the nine essential questions the movie will require you to answer:

1. How does a 6-feet-5, 260-pound man (played by Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson) fit into a helicopter pilot's seat?

2. How does The Rock's character, a pilot for the L.A. Fire Department, avoid being charged for dereliction of duty for ignoring his job and using government equipment to save his family?

3. Where is San Francisco's Asian population?

4. Is Paul Giamatti in every movie ever made?

5. When did Casting 101 require that everyone look so pretty? Yeah, this is California, but still …

6. Hey, isn't that Hoover Da … oops, never mind.

7. How many people die in this movie, anyway?

8. Is it loud enough for you?

9. What?