You call that … fashion?

I've never understood the whole red-carpet thing. In the old days, when glamour indeed was glamour, it made some sense. These days, however, I'm more impressed by Matt Stone and Trey Parker — who showed up at the Oscars most famously in drag — than in the shapeliest actress in an Alexander McQueen gown.

But fashion is a big part of the Oscar show. And so I am watching ABC's red carpet coverage. My wife is explaining to me its importance. Any minute now I'll actually listen to what she has to say.

Photo above: My TV snapshot of Channing Tatum, his wife and some presenter.