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Return of the Limerick Contest 2013
First place — elementary category
There once was a villainous eagle
He was famed but not really regal,
The seagulls are praying,
When that eagle is saying,
“Boy, I’m hungry for seagull.”
First place, open category
Nearing 40, the garbage goat stands,
Seeking only the trash in our hands;
Since he eats to excess,
Tell me: How’s he possess
Such a waistline—it never expands?
Second place — Elementary category
Lance’s Last Chance
There once was a mean snake named Lance,
Who tried to slide up my pants,
He slid down my shirt
And bit me (it hurt)
And now there is no second chance.
Second place — open category
About Eagles as Eags I will nag
Though from Cougar a Coug you can drag
If the name explains how
What I want to know now
How does Bulldog turn into a Zag?
Third place — open category
The Bulldogs can beat any beagle.
Their courtwork is really quite regal.
But football’s my game,
(Though the red field’s a shame.)
Just call me an old Eastern Eagle!
A cat from the valley named Missy
With her owner she’s usually quite ‘kissy’.
But with crossword on lap,
Papers get a big slap.
The S-R just causes a hissy.
My yard is full of black crows.
And on phone wires they line up in rows.
Though I shoo them away.
They come back next day.
And I ...
There once was a cow named Fred,
He liked to eat pumpkin bread.
His milk turned to silver,
His farmer wanted to eat Fred’s liver.
But Fred was full of slimy lead
There once was a super dumb skunk.
Who liked to eat stinky old junk
He took a big lick
It made him so sick
And it put him in a big funk.
There once was a sly red fox
That was stuck in a brown box.
He wanted to hunt deer
But they were hiding in fear
He looked at his white huge clock.
There once was a baby snake
Who had a big belly-ache.
His mom thought he was sick
But he had a mean mold tick
Then they noticed that he was a fake.
There once was a fox named Jack.
He loved playing with a tack.
Until he met an eagle
Until he saw a seagull.
A tracked down the eagle.