Local boy is Mr. Gay Washington
When we sat down to talk at Riverpark Square, Mr. Gay Washington pulled out the medallion he must wear at certain official functions over the next year. "It looks like a coaster," he noted drily.
Well, yeah, it does, but it's still cool. I mean, how many of us have a reason, an imperative even, to wear a beribboned medallion on a regular basis?
Ryan McCaskill is the first Eastern Washington resident to win the Mr. Gay Washington title in nearly 20 years. He will spend the next 12 months attending pride events, charity balls and other fundraisers across the Northwest.
For more of his story, watch for my column this Friday. In the meantime, if you are planning an event and would like to have McCaskill attend, he can be reached at mrgaywashington20082009@yahoo.com.
Mom power
News started to spread about a week ago at my youngest son's school that one of the moms was getting a baseball team together. She has received the okay from the Spokane Youth Sports Association to build a team with kids who don't necessarily live in the same neighborhood, but who attend the same school. Our guy is not terribly interested in sports, but he hasn't stopped talking about the possibility of playing second base. To my added delight, he pumped his fists with joy when I said I'd like to help coach.
We spread the word about registering for the team to third and fourth graders with a flier they took home to their parents. I've since taken several calls, one of which was another mom volunteering to help with practices. She hits grounders and fly balls to her kids nearly every evening, she noted.
Hee hee. I love it. Back in the day, that is, when I played Little League, the mom's served solely as fans or Team Mom. Now we're talking coaches, assistant coaches, managers. You go, moms.
Now all we need is a Team Dad.
On the job decisions
Molly started a new job today. Her first official nursing job, having graduated in December and passed the state licensing boards last month. It's an exciting thought for our family, to be moving away from such a tight budget. She has been in school all four years that we have been together.
Juxtaposed to the joy, on this, her first day, Molly experienced a measure of bigotry that is likely a harbinger of what's to come. Two new employees, also in orientation meetings, talked vociferously about "that Oprah show with the pregnant man." One of the colleagues declared, "Don't even get me started on how I feel about that."
Moving into an organization with many hundreds of employees, Molly will be faced daily with a thousand small decisions about how open to be about her family. Even if one person is accepting and supportive, the next person could be precisely opposite.
It's a position most LGBT people are accustomed to, yet I find myself especially empathetic imagining someone else having to endure. I don't mind those daily decisions, I'm used to them. But Molly has been out so many fewer years than I.
Her decision today: Remain quiet. And appreciate the one other person who did the same.
Step by step may be key to marriage equality
The tulips are finally blooming, lighting up front yards with vibrant bursts of color. Warmer days have kids prancing through the neighborhood. Everything feels more awake and alive.
Filling full of life, it's hard to resist all the things there are to do this time of year, hard to resist covering the calendar in outings. At the risk of this blog seeming like one big event listing, I'm going to continue to mention happenings about town, then mix it up with thoughts or questions for all of us to noodle over together.
The Inland Northwest LGBT Center is sponsoring an evening discussion on Moving Marriage Equality Forward, May 14, 6 p.m., at the Community Building, 35 W. Main St.
Here's the hook, from the emailed invitation, that's going to get me there next week: "Please join us for an informative evening discussing how the recently passed domestic partnership bill and its future expansion will help us secure full marriage equality."
Will the step by step approach work? Other states have had marriage rights completely shot down. Washington legislators in favor of full equality may be on to something.
Greek islanders are true lesbians
Readers ask such great questions. My editor took a call recently in which an elderly gentleman who follows the "Out on the Town" column phoned to ask why I use the term gay to refer to women as well as men. He has always thought that gay was preserved for men, while lesbian was the proper term for homosexual women.
I've been asking myself a similar question for months. It's not lost on me that I am vastly more comfortable saying gay woman instead of lesbian.
Perhaps I've found just the incentive and rationale I need to give up the L word altogether. Apparently, a trio of Greek citizens from the island of Lesbos is suing a gays rights group to erase the term lesbian from its name. Residents of the island are also known as Lesbians and the group's title insults the islanders' identity, they say.
I don't suppose they'd consider calling themselves Lesbonites? Well, geez, for that matter, us gay women could switch nomenclature. Lesbonites Unite!
Vino! A fundraiser
Those of you who planned to round out the traditional two weeks of Pride events in June with an evening of wine and beer tasting ought to think again. The Spokane AIDS Network's Stem and Stein fundraiser has been bumped up this year to May 16.
Now in its fourth year, the event includes a stunning list of wineries that will be showcased at the tasting. The New Orleans French Quarter theme includes a pre-event dinner with a meal designed by Northern Quest Casino executive chef Chad Michelbook. Silent and live auctions are also part of the evening. Cheese and chocolate pairings will highlight the main event.
Stem and Stein tickets are $35 in advance, $40 at the door. The pre-event dinner is $100, with limited seating. Northern Quest's Pend Oreille Pavilion is the venue for the event that multi-year attendees say just keeps getting better and better.
I have to say, I love the premise as well as the name. Though, it is tempting to say Barrel and Brewski instead of Stem and Stein.
Bus tax affects LGBT teens directly
John Olsen, a tireless volunteer for Odyssey Youth Center (as well as several other organizations in town), wrote a message recently to his extensive network of friends and colleagues advocating for a "yes" vote on the transit tax. A special election on May 20 will ask Spokane County voters whether or not to continue a sales tax that goes directly to Spokane Transit Authority's operating budget. Of $100 spent, 30 cents gets funneled to STA.
Olsen's note mirrored the most recent Odyssey newsletter in which readers were asked to consider donating bus passes to the center. The LGBT teenagers who visit OYC need the bus to get around, yet many of them are from families that cannot afford the daily cost of riding. They would be direct beneficiaries of the transit tax continuation. If voters keep the sales tax in place, STA will avoid having to make cuts in service or raise fares.
Experts explain new DP law
Short notice, I know, but a forum planned for tomorrow afternoon may be of great interest to couples registered, or thinking of registering, as domestic partners. The Washington State Bar Association (WSBA) is sponsoring a panel of experts to speak about the additions to the partnership law that go into effect on June 12. The forum will be at the Gonzaga School of Law, Barbieri Courtroom, on April 25 from 3:30 to 5 p.m.
Gregg Hirakawa, deputy executive director of the WSBA explains, "The new legislation will have significant impact with regards to legal matters involving probate, family, trusts, and property interests. Sometimes the new rights create a new burden as well as a benefit (e.g. community property, child custody, etc)."
The event is free.
Can't resist bowling
Some months ago I mentioned the monthly LGBT bowling night and ... I'm doing it again. It sounds so fun. Really what I'm aiming for is to light a fire under my own butt to get out there and knock out a few frames.
Known officially as LGBT & Friends 1st Sunday Monthly Bowling, the next outing is May 4, 12:30 to 3 p.m., at Northbowl Lanes, 125 W. Sinto Ave. The $10 fee includes three games, shoes and a ball. No RSVP required, but lanes are limited! Contact Mark at 509-879-8747 for more information.
I really do gotta take advantage of the great deal. My hot pink bowling ball, engraved with the nickname Razor, is just sitting all lonely like in the basement storage. Maybe I oughta get a shirt to match ...
Gnoshing for AIDS
Spokane's fourth annual Dining Out for Life is this Thursday, April 24. The event features 14 local restaurants that will donate 20 percent of your food and beverage bill to the Spokane AIDS Network for services provided to people living with HIV and AIDS.
Starting with breakfast, you could conceivably eat every meal out. The establishments range from Woodlands at Northern Quest Casino to Bennedito's Pizza. A complete listing of the participating restaurants is on SAN's web site.
The first year we joined in the festivities, we used the occasion to try Mizuna Restaurant and Wine Bar. I had never been and was thoroughly charmed by the atmosphere and service. The food was brilliant. Last year, we met a group of friends at Luigi's and our son used the opportunity to try calamari. It was his turn to be thrilled with the fare.
Stimulate the nonprofit sector
Should only be about a month now until many of us receive a $600 windfall from the feds. President Bush's economic stimulus plan has many of us, I'm sure, dreaming of big screen TVs, a weekend getaway or, as many people did the last time unexpected refunds came our way, paying down debt.
The good folks at the Inland Northwest LGBT Center have another idea.
In the bimonthly newsletter, they write, "The economy, sad as it is, can certainly use the help. But there is a better way to 'help' and you'll get a warm fuzzy feeling at the same time. Send a message to the current administration by signing over your stimulus check directly to a worthy nonprofit! Better yet, a worthy LGBTQ nonprofit! Nonprofit funding to support LGBTQ issues, especially on the federal level, is harder and harder to come by, and chances are it won't improve. Hey, we're not suggesting anarchy or giving up those white chocolate mochas, all we're suggesting is since you weren't counting on it anyway, leverage it in the community you feel most passionately about by donating it. You'll feel great and, unlike white chocolate mochas or a big screen LCD TV, it won't add inches to your waist!"
Free screening of 'For the Bible Tells Me So'
The movie grabbed second place for best documentary at the 2008 Spokane International Film Festival, but if you missed seeing "For the Bible Tells Me So," never fear. The Alliance, Spokane Falls Community College's gay and lesbian student group, is screening the film this Wednesday at 11:30 a.m. and 7 p.m. in the Student Union Building, Lounges AB. Admission is free.
Here's what forthebibletellsmeso.org has to say about the film: "Through the experiences of five very normal, very Christian, very American families - including those of former House Majority Leader Richard Gephardt and Episcopal Bishop Gene Robinson - we discover how insightful people of faith handle the realization of having a gay child."
The Muppets according to a 10-year-old
Oh man, I can't resist. Just as I finished the previous post, my youngest son asked, "Hey, Jill, have you ever watched The Muppet Show?" He must have temporarily forgotten that the reason we have Netflixed several DVDs of the classic TV show for him is because of our fondness for it.
With my positive response, he next asked, "Well, have you seen the speechless chef?"
It took a few seconds for it to dawn on me that he actually meant the Swedish chef!
Appears that Pride has a slogan
It seems the Stonewall News is back in production, with a new issue on the stands. I'm fixin' to find myself a print edition this weekend, though it is available on the web, too, at stonewallnews.net.
The intriguing piece of news I spied with a quick look at the web was something that appears to be the Pride 2008 slogan. "Two Spirits | One Community" it read. Curious. Very curious.
What are the two spirits? And are there really only two?
Two spirit is a Native American term referring to people who embody both female and male spirits, and often fulfill the role of both genders in the tribe. Is the slogan supposed to speak to that idea?
Which is the one community we're talking about? The LGBT community or the larger Spokane community?
Someone please enlighten me!
Keeping mum for LGBT teens
If you come across a teenager on Friday, April 25, who is unwilling to speak it might just be someone who is observing the national Day of Silence (DOS). Started by GLSEN and sustained by youth across the nation, the Day of Silence is intended to bring attention to the silence faced by lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people and their allies.
This year's event will be in memory of Lawrence King, a 15-year-old student shot and killed on Feb. 12 for his sexual orientation. A 14-year-old classmate at King's Oxnard, Calif., school allegedly pulled the trigger.
I seem to remember some Cheney High School kids who hung out at Odyssey Youth Center mentioning the DOS two years ago. They took the vow of silence for the whole day and handed out "speaking cards" that explained their pledge.
It'd be great to hear if any GSA's or individual students at local schools are taking the vow this year.
STA driver shows off mad skills
The April 11 column is done and turned in to my editor and I'm done thinking about Thomas Beatie. So ... onto things closer to home.
Spokane is celebrating Travel Green month and over at the S-R A Matter of Opinion blog, folks have been commenting about their alternative methods for commuting to work. This is one case in which the word "alternative" has a lovely feel to it. Not that nasty connotation that is often used when writing about gay people and their alternative lifestyles.
My main mode of transportation to work is the bus, with a mix of walking, biking or skateboarding used to arrive at the bus stop. And it's really in honor of my favorite bus driver that I started this whole rambling story. Scott, in fact, is the favorite of many of us regulars who commute to Cheney five days a week.
Unfortunately, Scott hasn't been on our route for months. But, I had the joy of running into him at dinner last Friday night and he gleefully reported he is the 2008 STA Bus Rodeo Champion.
The whole idea cracks me up. It reminds me of the bike rodeos we used to have in elementary school to show our handling skills, weaving in and out of cones and following circuitous courses. The bus event was held the week before Easter in the Jefferson Street park and ride.
Lest I diminish Scott's superior driving skills, this rodeo business is a big deal. He gets to travel to Austin, Texas, to compete in the national bus rodeo. Who knew.
Good luck, Scott! Any chance we'll be able to view your mad skills on YouTube?
True to form, ERW commits blunder
Still trying to get my thoughts gathered about the pregnant man. Meanwhile, here's something that's been nagging me.
Equal Rights Washington (ERW) sent me an email last week announcing "A Message from Citizens Advancing Equality." I opened it with trepidation. ERW has consistently pissed me off with it's horrific spelling errors. The most recent was in an email encouraging me to write a letter to Representative "Dan" Barlow. The guy's name is Don, you supposedly-professional, unmoved-by-your-carelessness people.
I opened the message only because of Citizens Advancing Equality (CAE), a Spokane-based political action committee (PAC), and the respect I have for its founding members. CAE-PAC has put a tremendous amount of energy into interviewing political candidates in recent elections and rating them based on their friendliness towards gay rights issues.
True to form, the brief message from ERW, written by Advocacy Director Josh Friedes, had two spelling errors and referred to CAE, rather than the proper name of CAE-PAC, multiple times.
Imagine Charlie Brown when I say "AARRRGGH!!!"
Frankly, I am disappointed in CAE-PAC's choice to align with ERW.
He's pregnant!?
As I'm sure many of you can imagine, recent news of a pregnant trans man has me filled with all kinds of competing emotions. Thomas Beatie relates his story in Labor of Love at advocate.com and in the March 26 print edition of The Advocate. Though he had sex reassignment surgery to transition from female to male, Beatie elected to keep his ovaries and uterus. His wife is unable to bear children after a hysterectomy necessitated by severe endometriosis. With their family-owned business in a stable financial condition and a move from Hawaii to Oregon, the Beatie's were ready to start a family. He was the natural choice to carry the baby.
I don't choose that word, natural, lightly. Within it is all the complexities of this story.
At the most basic level, I read Beatie's forthright, endearing story and cheered a family who can experience the joy of raising a child. Then I gazed at the bare-bellied picture of Beatie for a bit too long and found myself thinking, That's just not natural. It looks Photoshopped.
My partner, Molly, peered over my shoulder at the picture and asked, "Isn't that cheating?" If he identifies as male and goes to the effort to legally become a man, doesn't he give up the chance to bear children? Isn't it philosophically anathema to being male?
Ahhh. My time is running short to finish this post before work starts. Look for more in my column next week and here as well. But for now, let me know what you think. What is your gut reaction? And please, don't rely only on my summary. Read Beatie's story.
More billboards in the works
Though a bit difficult to read, with the small print and overly fancy font, the billboards unveiled last spring featuring LGBTA Spokanites were fun to see. Paid for by OutSpokane, the signs were revealed gradually, a new phrase added each week until eventually they read:
"Hi Spokane! We're your family, friends and neighbors! Some of us are gay. All of us deserve equal rights."
According to the Vision Committee (an arm of OutSpokane) web site, another billboard series is in the works for 2008. It's part of the committee's ongoing campaign for visibility and equality.
Can't wait to happen upon them while tooling about town.
Those precious Onesies
My best buddy has the cutest belly, otherwise she has hardly gained any weight. My emotions stayed in check, though I have only snuck quick glances at the baby growing inside. I haven't yet asked to feel while he's kicking.
The baby shower, around which this whole trip of ours has been planned, is in a couple of hours. I am ready to celebrate Shawn and the emerging life inside her. I also am preparing mentally to be wistful, perhaps even a bit melancholy, at the sight of those tiny little boy clothes that break your heart with cuteness. I never got to see my boys in those precious Onesies or hold them while wrapped in a soft blankie.
I'm guessing the desire to feel the hand of a tiny baby clutching my finger and to kiss the downy hair on the very top of his head will drive me south again this year. Meanwhile, I've got party favors to place and a toast to give at a baby shower overlooking the rocky coastline of La Jolla, California.
The moment of reckoning
Well, the pool wasn't warm enough, but our youngest son braved it anyway. He lasted about two minutes while Molly and I sat on the patio of my dad's North Hollywood home and basked in the sun that tanned our necks. Eventually, we changed into short-sleeved shirts and took a walk through the neighborhood. Oh, my word, the flora is amazing. It's spring in full force and Southern California is green.
Wisteria draped over the neighbor's archway. Bird of Paradise plumed orange and purple. By dinnertime my cheeks were flushed and I felt as if I'd been hiking for hours. The warmth of the sun just zapped my energy in the greatest of ways.
We are in Buellton right now, visiting my grandmother and aunt. The infamous tree from the movie Sideways is blocks from where I sit. Our plan is to brave the long drive back through Los Angeles to San Diego tonight, in order to avoid the worst of the traffic. It will be late, but within hours I will see Shawn. The moment of reckoning is near.
My pregnant best friend is awaiting our arrival and I, I am nervous. I'm afraid I'm going to cry. Cry at the beauty of the child within her and the truth that there will never be a baby within me. Maybe the long drive will be the buffer. Perhaps I'll be too dang tired to do anything but hug Shawn and totter off to bed.
In search of sun and stars
The temperature reading on the Mead High School marquee this morning said 23 degrees. Four blocks down the road, when I boarded an STA bus, a credit union read-out claimed 16 degrees. Whatever. The sign boards should have just said, DAMN COLD.
I walked to the bus this morning. Tomorrow, a bit later in the a.m., I plan to take another stroll ... in shorts, sandals and a T-shirt. Sure enough, by 10 a.m. my family and I will be in Southern California. First stop, Los Angeles to see my pop and stepmom.
Maybe this visit we'll get lucky and see Miley Cyrus, more popularly known at our house as Hannah Montana, walking her dog. Last summer we had to settle for a quick chat with the teenage pop star's dad, Billy Ray Cyrus, when he ambled by with a little yippy dog. The Cyrus clan lives down the block and around the corner from my dad.
The stars, though, are secondary to what we are really jonesing to see (and feel) ... the sun.
I'll let you know if the pool is warm enough for swimming.
The power of advertising
Molly, my gal, is on a roll lately. Last weekend, the quip about our acquiring a wine cellar and tonight she wandered through the living room while I watched an NCAA basketball game, taking note of the commercial.
"Are they showing power tool commercials because it's a women's basketball game?" she asked.
Don't tell any of the women's basketball honchos. They work unnaturally hard to avoid any association with their most loyal fan base, those sports-loving, power tool-toting lesbians.
And the ally award goes to, Anne Hathaway
Keeping up with celebrity gossip, or even knowing who the latest and greatest are, is not my strong suit. So, imagine my surprise when I read Anne Hathaway received a Human Rights Campaign Ally award last weekend.
Anne Hathaway!? William Shakespeare's wife? The woman with the beautiful cottage and gardens turned tourist spot in Stratford-upon-Avon? She was a friend to the gay folks? Well, OK, makes sense. Old Will was into theater after all.
Finally, with a few more clicks, I realized there is in fact an Anne Hathaway living and breathing in the 21st century. Among several touted movie credits, Brokeback Mountain is the only one I have seen, which made me feel a bit sheepish for not recognizing her from the role of Lureen Newsome.
Hathaway's speech, available on YouTube, to the crowd attending the 15th Annual Human Rights Campaign Gala Dinner in Los Angeles, was elegant. Just downright humble and hopeful.
"I believe I have received this award not so much because of what I have done, but because of the way I was born and raised," she said. "I was born the younger sister of a gay man and the daughter of parents who are both empathetic to and loving of the LGBT community."
I'll resist quoting more. Seeing really is believing. What a lovely person, this modern day Anne Hathaway.
Pride calendar now available
A thin layer of snow is all around as I ride out to Cheney on the bus, but warmth and revived greenery don't seem so far away when I peruse the listing of Pride events. That's right! Spokane's June Pride week is already being advertised by OutSpokane.
Things kickoff Friday, June 6, with the One Night Stand (for Pride) screening of an independent film, presented by the Spokane GLBT Film Festival. The excitement builds from there toward the Pride Parade and Rainbow Festival on Saturday, June 14.
No word yet on a theme. ... The suspense is killing me.
