Best Live Action Short: “Curfew.” I called that one. One of my only wins so far.

Oh, and for those of you who were born in the last three of or decades? Believe me, Shirley Bassey once had a great voice.

And my friend Leslie Kelly asks, what's with all the 007 stuff? Easy answer there, it's the franchise's 50th anniversary year. Besides its being another Hollywood moment of self-congratulation.

Bring back Halle Berry.

Question: Is Halle Berry ever going to look anything less than worthy of Bond Girl status? Love the Bond tribute, especially all the shots of the best Bond ever … Sean Connery.

Best Makeup/Hairstyling: “Les Miserables.” That's what happens when your big star allows you to shave her head.

Best Costume Design: “Anna Karenina.” My wife is turning cartwheels. I avoided that category, so I'll count it as a loss. Are they going to play this winner off, too?

Best Visual Effects: “Life of Pi.” No surprise.

But have you checked out the Anne Hathaway Nipples furor?

Best Cinematography: “Life of Pi.” Finally, I get one right. Take that, Roger Deakins.

Of course, as I said in my preview story, cinematography is what “Life of Pi” is all about.

Reese Witherspoon introduces three of the Best Picture nominees: “Les Miserables,” “Life of Pi,” Beasts of the Southern Wild.” And we get to see some scenes. This is always what I wish this program had more of. After all, the movies are THE reason why we're here.

Best Animated Feature: “Brave.” I'm now 0 for 3.

Second award for Best Animated Short (after a rather lame intro by Paul Rudd and Melissa McCarthy): “Paper Man,” the Disney choicej. Of course.

And the first award: Best Supporting Actor, presented by Octavia Spencer.

The winner? Christoph Waltz, the most deserving winner. Imagine, two Quentin Tarantino films and two Academy Awards. Pretty amazing.

I still think Jones' wig is horrible. And it looks as if this evening isn't going to go as some of us predicted.

Love the sock puppets take on “Flight.” 

Have to say, it takes five minutes for MacFarlane to get groans. Ohhhhh. Chris Brown, Mel Gibson and rape jokes. And he's already insulted the Academy. “Your jokes are tasteless and everybody hates you,” Capt Kirk comes on the screen to say. Now, that's clever.

Seth MacFarlane takes the stage. “And the quest to make Tommy Lee Jones laugh begins now,” he says. And Jones does.

By the time Seth MacFarlane takes the stage of this Oscar broadcast, I'm going to want to kiss the guy, who is to policital correctness what Kristin Chenoweth is to polite discourse. This pre-show couldn't get more self-congratulatory, which I'm hoping doesn't carry over. “Oh my gosh,” they say. “I'm getting down on my knees,” Chenoweth says. Seriously?