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Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

The last joke at Michael Bay’s expense

Dan Webster

Over the years, whenever I've wanted to make a joke about movies, I've usually mentioned Michael Bay. I've pretty much stopped doing it because, one, I actually do guilty-pleasure like one or two of his movies. And, two … well, the rest of his work is pretty much a joke by its self. So why pile on?

But while looking for a photo of Kate Beckinsale, a serious actress who unaccountably keeps choosing genre projects such as "The Disappointments Room" (which opens Friday), I came across a story about Bay and the comments he made about her while doing publicity for his 2001 film "Pearl Harbor."

If you don't remember — and why would you? — Bay's version of the famous sneak attack (and attendant, obligatory romance) starred Ben Affleck, Josh Hartnett and Beckinsale as the nurse the two hunks vied for. Apparently, while talking to the press, Bay gushed over his two male stars but spoke less glowingly of his female lead.

So, just to be fair, I thought I'd post some of the less glowing reviews of "Pearl Harbor" itself:

Joe Morgenstern, Wall Street Journal: "Pearl Harbor is a blockheaded, hollow-hearted industrial enterprise."

Nathan Rabin, AV Club: "Leave it to Bay and (producer Jerry) Bruckheimer to reduce one of America's biggest military tragedies into a three-hour avalanche of Kodak moments, and one of America's defining crises into a facile exercise in fake uplift."

Tim Brayton, Antagony & Ecstasy: "A tepid, wannabe-Titanic love story, under the stewardship of a man whose career has ranged from the emotional depth of an 11-year-old boy all the way up to a 13-year-old boy."

Desson Thomson, Washington Post: "Perhaps they should have called this 'Bore-a, Bore-a, Bore-a.' "

I could go on. But … you get the point. By the way, below is an embed titled "If Michael Bay directed 'WALL-E.' " Enjoy.