Those ‘purple things’ might prove too ‘Despicable’

Warning to parents of young moviegoers: I took my 5-year-old granddaughter to see "Despicable Me 2," the follow-up to 2010's "Despicable Me (both films were co-directed by Pierre Louis Padang Coffin and Chris Renaud). And the results weren't what I expected.

It was an on-again/off-again rainy day in Brooklyn, NY, and we had decided to walk from my daughter's co-op in the Clinton Hill district to the Williamsburg Cinemas. But Google Maps let us down, telling us that the 1.7 mile trek could be accomplished by walking straight down Washington Ave. But we were stopped at Steiner Studios and told we had to walk around.

Right. We ended up calling a driver service and paying $10 for the trip, which got us to the theater barely 10 minutes before the show started. Anyway, after sharing (as much as you CAN share with a 5-year-old) a large popcorn, we made it about an hour through the 98-minute screening when my granddaughter began … well, crying might be too harsh. But she was clearly not happening.

"I don't like the purple things," she said. She was talking about the movie characters called Minions, who had been nefariously changed into purple monsters, and they scared her. I tried to soothe her, but nothing worked … except for us to leave. Which we did.

So, I'm not saying you should avoid taking your kids to "Despicable Me 2." I am, however, suggesting that younger viewers might get a bit creeped out by it.

And I refuse to give any credence to the accusation by my friend and former colleague Dan Mitchinson that I was the one who got scared. Ridiculous.

Everyone knows I'm scared of green monsters. Not purple ones.

Really.