I've been going to the same group of doctors since I was in 9th grade — that's more than 25 years (omg). Sure, the older I get the more often my GP has to outsource me to a specialist, but for the regular aches and pains, the gnarly cold that refuses to relent, the almost-sawed-off finger, I still head to the docs at Spokane Family Health Center. They're a full-service family practice, which means sometimes, when I call with a need-to-get-in-today issue, I get to spend time in a room that belongs to someone who usually treats the under-13 crowd.
On my last visit (during which I was told the aching in my throat was simply the bug du jour and not, in fact, strep) I whiled away the time it took for my tests to process by admiring this little gem of a poster. Seems sweet enough at first blush. A hand-drawn representation of the alphabet. A is for aardvark. I is for iguana … and then things get interesting. N is for narwhal. My doc was impressed that I knew this one … he said most of his patients think it's imaginary. I told him more of his patients need to become familiar with Elf.
Then I noticed X … X is for xerphus.
My doc walked back into the room with the verdict (just gunky, not streppy) and caught me double-checking my spelling of “The X Creature” in the Google search window of my hand-held computer device. “Um, I don't think you're going to find that one … I'm pretty sure it's make-believe.” Said the guy who overlooked U, for unicorn.